Going Up

It's been a while since I last updated this. I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to put into writing, but I was just too lazy to blog it, and I just ended up plurking them.

I want to be direct this time. I feel that I am not in the greatest of moods lately. I guess this is because I still have no clear pictures of what I am going to be in the very, very near future. I do have plans, but here I am doubting every single one of them. And I really am starting to hate myself for that. The plan of pursuing medicine is still there, but I feel it's dwindling -- it's not as strong as before. I think this is brought about issues on financial assurance and other internal issues I have.

With that, I am again thinking of back-up plans. So IF I won't go for med, what else can I do? I guess I can look for Master's Programs that would suit me. I was thinking of Clinical Psychology, but I'm not yet firm about it. If I take that track, and finish it, I guess I could try teaching? I don't think doing psychotherapy would be profitable here in the Philippines. I could use my US immigrant status to work in the US, but I can't imagine myself braving the new environment there yet.

There's office work I could try, but I don't find it appealing (at least I'm sure of that).

Hay... I really don't know.

As what Thea have said, I will soon find out what would suit me. I just hope it comes to me real soon, like tomorrow!

I came across Prof. Marshall Valencia's (my psychology professor) facebook status, and it said, "

" "Mistakes" in life are not due to WRONG DECISIONS... it's mostly due to INDECISIONS... kaya strike while the iron is hot, seize the day, carpe diem, just do it, don't look anymore just jump, haste doesn't waste, risk!"

It hit me big time. I guess the reason why I am afraid of doing or trying out a lot of things is that I am really afraid of failure. This facebook update inspired me. I really can't be afraid forever. I agree that I should take more risks from now on.

Lost

Many of my friends know what happened to me, or what I have decided upon, regarding my recent career dilemma. I do not want to write it down here anymore because I have been typing it out a lot of times on YM, and I got tired already.

Whatever that decision is, I am happy with it, because right this moment, I am starting to feel lost and uncertain again. It is good that I did not jump right at the thing everyone wanted me to pursue.

Just when I thought that I would be ready with my plans for the next school year, here I am starting to doubt myself again, and question what I really want to do. It is really hard to discern which way to go when your options seem equally interesting and challenging. I feel as though I have nowhere else to go.

Am I just thinking too much? I really need to pray for discernment.

Back to Square One

Graduating from one of the Top Universities of the Country, I have always been positive and confident that I would land myself on a very prosperous career path. That has always been my defense everytime my parents would open up talks regarding our future migration to the U.S. I always say that I don't see the reason for leaving, as I know that my future will be bright here in the Philippines. I try to persuade them and tell them of all my dreams and ambitions for myself and for our family.

I had high ambitions for myself. And these ambitions of mine sometimes lead me to undermining certain jobs which I find too mediocre for me to take on. I know. How dare I judge? I have always been quick to judge when it comes to job applications. When I see that the workplace of a certain company looks distasteful, my desire to continue my application with that company quickly goes away.

Maybe more determination is what I need. I want to be faced with more reasons to work, and I think I have found these reasons. Just this week, I found out that my "chance" for Med School has poofed. My name was not included in the list of wait-listed applicants. Now why am I affected even if I really don't want to go to Med School? Well I think it's because I know that I will be disappointing a lot of my relatives, as they want me to enter Med School. Secondly, maybe because I still think that studying is more fun than working simply because you don't have to worry of earning money for yourself or your family. Third, a profession in the Field of Medicine will surely give me a wonderful life -- all that wealth, prestige, and good reputation.

Well, that's God's Will. I should just accept that. Disappointments are never uncommon, anyway.

Yes, I am back to square one. With my career options narrowed down, re-thinking must be done again. And I am now considering these jobs which I didn't imagine myself in. I hate being judged for things that I do or in this case, the job that I might be having. But what the heck? It's a job, and it's offered by a very stable and prestigious company. Being choosy is just not what I need to be right now.

Things are still uncertain. I have yet to attend the interview. We'll see from there.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Being an X-Men fan since childhood, I was really excited to know that the X-Men movie adaptations would not end at the 'X-Men: Last Stand'. But when I knew that it was Wolverine who will be the focus or center of the movie, my excitement was lessened a bit because I am personally not a Wolverine fan.

The trailer for the movie restored back all my excitement, and the movie itself killed me. It was really good! Not too dramatic, and it was action-packed! The story was changed a bit, as compared to the original story found in the Comics. But for me, it was really effective because they were able to play around with the dramatic alternatives more. The movie actually made me appreciate the story line of Wolverine, and the character itself.

We were able to watch it in the Promenade, Greenhills together with Kuya, Ate Mae, and Ate Babie.

When we got home, I remembered that I had a "Wolverine" picture when I was still very young, and immediatley rummaged through our old, dusty and massive albums. And yes, I found it haha!

Taken in Alabama, USA, 1993.

Our X-Men hype did not end there. Me, Ate Mae (Kuya's GF), and Kuya, being silly as we are, decided to create our own X-Men "poster". hahaha

(L-R): Ate Mae as White Queen, Kuya as Wolverine, Me as Gambit

There's another version of this, having me as Sabretooth, but I'm too shy to post it. hahaha!

Okay, you can laugh now :p

Update Fail

This started last month. I am not sure as to the cause of it, but from my speculation, I think it must have something to do with the 'System Restore' option I performed during the said time. I think it may have reversed some updates on Windows Vista which were already previously installed, and so, Vista is trying to re-install it, but for some reason it does not work. This is just what I think happened.

This morning, I tried installing all the 8 updates lined up for my laptop, and this is what came up:

The first notice was weird. From how I see and understand it, those 8 updates are apparently not needed by my laptop as of the moment. But why would they appear there if my laptop's system does not actually need it? I'm confused. Maybe that's not what it's trying to say.

And so, I attempted to install them again, and here's what happened:



It says errors on installation were found - 'WindowsUpdate_80070057'
I tried searching on google for what it means. But it's useless. I hope this is nothing serious.

Will do appreciate if somebody can try to shed light on this matter. Thanks :)

All Tossed Up

I feel caught up in the middle of things.

I shall refer once again to this blogsite title of mine, Salad. I feel like my life is a huge salad, in the sense that I can see different opportunities being laid out in front of me, just like how a salad bears all those ingredients. Every single piece is unique and inviting in its own way.

I have been beginning to accept the reason as to why I am very choosy with work, or as to why I still do not have work up to now. And I think that the reason is I still do not want to work. That simple. Why was I applying before, you might ask? Well I think it's a result of mixed feelings of pressure that my peers already have work, and desire to have my own money to spend on personal things. But as what things seem to be right now, I don't think that these reasons are enough to land me a career in the Corporate World.

So right now, I am not as enthusiastic in job seeking as before, but I still consider applying to those companies that I would like to work for. Everytime I reason out to my Mom that I prefer working over going to Med School, she brandishes me with different reasons for me to think otherwise, and it's really not helping. I feel like I'm heading nowhere, for her reasons are equally drawing. I actually feel a bit envious to those who have started to engage in the path they more or less envision themselves to be in for the rest of their lives. I wish them the best.

Work, study, or whatever.... I just wanna say, "Come what may, World!".

My apologies, if this post seem to be a bit incoherent.

The Overthinker

I have been thinking of a good topic to blog about. Something serious and/or relevant to those who visit (my friends, mostly) my blog from time to time. But I cannot think of anything interesting to blog. So right now, I have decided to take things on a lighter level, and try to show more of what is going on with my life right now, career-wise mostly.

I have passed all the required academic units for my tertiary level of education, and have graduated from the De La Salle University-Manila last October 4, 2008. I graduated with no academic distinctions or recognitions, but I am proud for all the achievements I have gained along the way.

After graduation, a graduate is expected to look for a job, or continue on further studies. So what were the plans I had right after I graduated? What I really aimed for after getting out of College was to get a decent job and try to experience what it is like to have financial autonomy -- spending on things that you want. I tried applying to few companies which I can imagine myself working for. And after what seemed like a hundred interviews and tests, and hundreds of hours spent on commuting to and from the companies' respective main offices, I was finally able to decide on accepting the first job offer I was faced with. It actually came too fast for me. I signed the contract not fully realizing if I am really already prepared for the Corporate World, and for the position I was to hold, which is a Payroll Project Resource. Yes I know, why did I ever accept Payroll, when I know in myself that I am not an adept at this field? Maybe it is because I did not want to let that big opportunity go.

The rash decision I made resulted in me resigning after two official days of work. During those two days in the office, I found myself constantly thinking and re-evaluating many things. I was even bothered because it came to a point wherein I really asked myself (in Filipino), "Ano ba 'tong pinasukan ko?". That alone, I believe, is a strong indicator or reason why I must stop. I was very unhappy. But do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the workplace, my co-workers, and the company itself. Everything actually is great, and I think that that company is one of the best employers for Fresh Graduates, in many aspects.

After that experience, I have learned that not every opportunity should be grabbed right away. We must first be really sure of ourselves if we want this certain thing or not. And if not, just be kind enough to let it go, and let other people be offered that opportunity. Let us learn to work on things that truly matter to us.

So what am I left with? Right now, I am still eyeing for certain job openings which I like to work on, but I am still considering other career options. Many of my friends know that I have veered away from the realm of Medicine for many personal reasons. But I still took the NMAT, and applied to only one Medical School for the satisfaction of my parents and relatives. It turned out that I did not make it to their primary list of eligible applicants. My mom and I agreed that whatever the result would be, would serve as a sign from God, and determine my career path. But as I have mentioned, I did not make it to the primary list, but she, along with my other relatives, advised me to wait for the second list, or the list of wait-listed applicants. They asked me what my decision would be in case my name would be included in that list. I told them that I honestly do not know what I would feel and realize if that time ever comes.

I know that it is not a good sign if you are half-hearted with going to Med School, for that very, very tedious journey would wear you down in many aspects of your life, and so, it would be really wise if you have your whole heart into it. Med School is an "okay" choice for me right now. "Okay", meaning it is not my primay choice, but I can work on it also. I guess I am just too caught up with the idea that God has pre-destined us to be somebody in the future, and that I always find myself thinking what if I was actually pre-destined to be a doctor, and that a position in the Corporate World is just not for me? But then again, what if it is the other way around?

I might be just overthinking things.

And so I have thought.

Career Salad

First of all, I would like to congratulate all those who have graduated this month. Be proud, for all your hardships have paid off.

Following my daily routine, which is drinking coffee every breakfast, and browsing the paper afterwards, or drinking coffee while browsing the paper, I came across the editorial section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. I admit that I usually do not read the editiorial columns unless the topic is really relevant to my life, or to what I have for the moment. True enough, I didn't bother glancing through the paragraphs after checking the titles of the editorial articles. But what caught my interest was the editorial cartoon.

From Page A10: Opinion Section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, April 4, 2009 Issue

As you can see in the illustration, in my own interpretation, the batch of graduates rains from the sky and joins the already existing flood of those who are unemployed. Flood, which is slowly engulfing our Country's economy to lower levels.

It really is a struggle for many people to look for jobs in this trying period. Many get laid-off, and quite a number still, do not get the job they were aiming for -- either you are underemployed, or you are forced to make a career shift due to the current situation.

While it is true that indeed many suffer in many aspects of their life, due to this Economic Crisis (Family members killing themselves in America, etc.), we should still be thankful in a way, because the effect of the Crisis here in the Philippines is cushioned by the growth of Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) Industries. These BPO companies help alleviate the problem of unemployment in our Country. They offer thousands and thousands of jobs to all those who are in need of them. To those who are not familiar with what a BPO unit/corporation is, these are the companies who are "employed" by other corporations to do certain business processes for them, for reasons like they do not have the sufficient number of employees to do that certain business task or process. For example, Company A would like to hire Company BPO to help them in screening out Application Forms or Resumes. Another well-known example here in the Philippines are the Customer Service Centers or the Call Centers -- the BPO companies who run these Contact Centers have many accounts for other various companies who may need their services for Customer Help or Support.

Many people are not happy with the fact that they do not get to work on the job which they are really aiming for way back their earlier years, but due to financial constraints, they are somehow forced to take on these ready opportunities. But there are still those who refuse to take jobs not in their field of profession. They wait, and wait until the job they are eyeing for comes. I myself can be classified in the latter. I see many openings in online job search engines, and various advertisements on paper, but everytime I imagine myself taking on the job advertised, which does not really fall under the field I would like to work on, I find myself getting all worked up, and anxious -- I end up not applying for the positions I see.

In this economic situation we are in, is it still okay or proper to be choosy on jobs that are available, or would it be wise to grab whatever it is that you think you could work on, and gain experience, and just transfer to the one you like later on?

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My plans for what I want to happen with my career right now is really complicated due to the many confounding situations I am faced with. I would dedicate an entire blog post for that next time.

No worms here!

As mentioned, I ran a full system scan for my laptop, and here's the result:



Worm free! I hope I won't catch it ever.

Worm in My Salad

This morning, as I was enjoying my daily cup of coffee during breakfast, I picked up the paper and started browsing through the Philippine Daily Inquirer issue for today, and I ran across the "The World" section of their paper. The title itself, and its respective font size was enough to catch my attention and make me read it -- "Computer experts warn of April Fool's Day worm".

Great. So some evil computer genius thought that it'd be fun to let out loose another cyber monster. The worm is named the Conficker Worm, and it is said that it targets computers running Microsoft Software. It has the characteristic of hopping from one computer to another over a local network, or travelling through your seemingly harmless flash drives (Asia news network, 2009).

So what damage can this worm do? Well this clever devil's motives are still unclear to experts. As they have put it, the said malware was very well designed. It may stay dormant in your computer for a certain period of time until the "master mind" decides that it's time to re-activate it and wreak havoc. As of now, what they know for certain is that it has been programmed to reach out to 250 websites daily to download commands or instructions from the "masters", but since it's AFD today, the creator decided to step-up the fun and expand by connecting to 50,000 randomly-generated sites and wait for instructions. We'll just never know if you're favorite sites are safe from the worm. Facebook, anyone? The new variant of the worm is called the "Conficker.C", and one of the notorious traits that is has is that it disables the automatic Windows Updates for Microsoft Users. The Automatic Updates for Windows is really essential because it is the source of security updates for the Windows OS.

There is really no assurance that this worm can be eradicated right away. What the experts have right now are anti-malware scanners and removers. But of course, the master mind came prepared, the maker continuously improves the existing worm strain. And despite the $250,000.00 bounty for this cyber criminal, there are still no reports or even clues to the whereabouts of the havoc-wreaker.

To all those who are paranoid like me, consider reading this Yahoo Article, and download the recommended scanners. I personally have downloaded Malwarebytes Anti-Malware. I have heard a good review of this scanner, from a friend. As I am typing this entry, the scanner is running in the background, so I'll keep you guys updated whether my laptop has the worm or not.

I do hope there is no worm in my salad.



References:

Gueco, L.B. (2009, April 01). Computer experts warn of april fool's day worm. The Philippine Daily Inquirer, A 24.

Yahoo! Tech. (2009). Last-minute conficker survival guide. Retrieved April 01, 2009, from Yahoo! Tech blogs. Website: http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/132464


Acknowledgement:

I would like to thank Talitha for giving me an idea for this post's title :)

Official Opening

So, I'm back into blogging again, after quite a number of years of stopping due to very busy school work loads, and other circumstances. Hopefully, I would be able to maintain this blog.

Please do bear with the 'look & feel" of my current blog, as I am still trying to figure out on how to make it give out a more "bloggy" feeling. I think you know what I mean.

I had a blog before in Xanga, entitled "day-2-day trash". I know, sounds inviting, right? Nah. The whole theme of that blog is even so dark and heavy, so right now I'm trying to keep things cool and simple to the eyes. I don't even know why I named it that one. I tried visiting that blog a couple of weeks ago, and I found myself so ashamed of what I have been posting in public. I can't believe that I have thought that way during my college years. I just find it so weird, and somehow immature (well I can't say that my blog posts this time would be mature enough to read).

Anyway, I would like to acquaint everyone with my blog title, "Word Salad". I have first heard of this term in one of my Psychology Classes. This coined-up term refers to a mixture of seemingly meaningful words, that actually mean nothing (Wikipedia, 2009). So it's like a blabber of words, which you won't be able to derive a meaning or association from. But of course, this blog won't live up to its name. It's just like the point of the title of my previous blog, "day-2-day trash", the posts are ironic to its title.

So there, with this introduction, if I may call it, my blog is officially.... open? :p

Test Post

Test Blog Post for Word Salad.