Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Overthinker

I have been thinking of a good topic to blog about. Something serious and/or relevant to those who visit (my friends, mostly) my blog from time to time. But I cannot think of anything interesting to blog. So right now, I have decided to take things on a lighter level, and try to show more of what is going on with my life right now, career-wise mostly.

I have passed all the required academic units for my tertiary level of education, and have graduated from the De La Salle University-Manila last October 4, 2008. I graduated with no academic distinctions or recognitions, but I am proud for all the achievements I have gained along the way.

After graduation, a graduate is expected to look for a job, or continue on further studies. So what were the plans I had right after I graduated? What I really aimed for after getting out of College was to get a decent job and try to experience what it is like to have financial autonomy -- spending on things that you want. I tried applying to few companies which I can imagine myself working for. And after what seemed like a hundred interviews and tests, and hundreds of hours spent on commuting to and from the companies' respective main offices, I was finally able to decide on accepting the first job offer I was faced with. It actually came too fast for me. I signed the contract not fully realizing if I am really already prepared for the Corporate World, and for the position I was to hold, which is a Payroll Project Resource. Yes I know, why did I ever accept Payroll, when I know in myself that I am not an adept at this field? Maybe it is because I did not want to let that big opportunity go.

The rash decision I made resulted in me resigning after two official days of work. During those two days in the office, I found myself constantly thinking and re-evaluating many things. I was even bothered because it came to a point wherein I really asked myself (in Filipino), "Ano ba 'tong pinasukan ko?". That alone, I believe, is a strong indicator or reason why I must stop. I was very unhappy. But do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the workplace, my co-workers, and the company itself. Everything actually is great, and I think that that company is one of the best employers for Fresh Graduates, in many aspects.

After that experience, I have learned that not every opportunity should be grabbed right away. We must first be really sure of ourselves if we want this certain thing or not. And if not, just be kind enough to let it go, and let other people be offered that opportunity. Let us learn to work on things that truly matter to us.

So what am I left with? Right now, I am still eyeing for certain job openings which I like to work on, but I am still considering other career options. Many of my friends know that I have veered away from the realm of Medicine for many personal reasons. But I still took the NMAT, and applied to only one Medical School for the satisfaction of my parents and relatives. It turned out that I did not make it to their primary list of eligible applicants. My mom and I agreed that whatever the result would be, would serve as a sign from God, and determine my career path. But as I have mentioned, I did not make it to the primary list, but she, along with my other relatives, advised me to wait for the second list, or the list of wait-listed applicants. They asked me what my decision would be in case my name would be included in that list. I told them that I honestly do not know what I would feel and realize if that time ever comes.

I know that it is not a good sign if you are half-hearted with going to Med School, for that very, very tedious journey would wear you down in many aspects of your life, and so, it would be really wise if you have your whole heart into it. Med School is an "okay" choice for me right now. "Okay", meaning it is not my primay choice, but I can work on it also. I guess I am just too caught up with the idea that God has pre-destined us to be somebody in the future, and that I always find myself thinking what if I was actually pre-destined to be a doctor, and that a position in the Corporate World is just not for me? But then again, what if it is the other way around?

I might be just overthinking things.

And so I have thought.


  1. whatever or wherever it is, you'll know when you're there already :) good luck :)

  2. Opportunities, opportunities. :) I couldn't agree more with your entry.

  3. balang araw, malalaman mo rin kung saan ka... siguro magiging mahirap ang pagkamit noon, pero mararating mo rin yun. O baka naman nandiyan lang pala ang gusto mo, inaayawan mo lang agad? Pero kung ano man ang desisyon mo, marami kaming nandito. :)

    *naglabas ng tissue paper, ipampupunas ng sipon* yaaaak. haha